Can I come out now that the summer is over?

I have been busy ... living & enjoying life.

Wow time sure flies ...

I'm 2 weeks away from running my first marathon! I'm psyched!

truth & consequences ...

I recently ended a brief relationship with someone I have known since my childhood. The recent part was fairly intimate & I, for some reason, believed that it was going to last forever. Anyway, I ended up having unprotected sex, for the first time in a very very long time, with this person. And now of course it is over ...

I am now left with the long-term possibility of having some serious consequences for my indiscretions. I am not worried about her getting pregnant; she said that was impossible & the scars lead me to believe that she wasn't lying about that at least. But, although she was previously a nurse she never had any desire to have a conversation about unprotected sex & the possibility if transmission of STDs or other serious illness. So now I am forced to begin once again the process of blood-work on a regular basis to determine if I have done something I regret for physical gratification ... I'm feeling naive ....

It is nice to catch up with a good friend

I got the chance to do coffee with a good friend that I had not seen in a couple of years today. It is nice to catch up but time is always too short. I hope that circumstances in our respective lives will permit us to see each other more often but I am grateful for the time we had ... and for the fact that this friend continues to encourage me to change my life. And she reminds me not only to have a goal but to have a time-line to achieve those goals.

For the record I blew off more than a few workouts and then I got sick and couldn't workout. In short, I am way behind where I wanted to be this month in distance ... I need to remain focused and remember that my first marathon isn't going to be a cake-walk.

I've fallen & I don't want to get up ...

I recently connected with a lady I went to highschool with and we are pretty much a couple now. Her son is even asking "When I am going to start being his dad?" which strangely enough does not scare me ... I am thinking of having my head examined.

She is a nice person and I find her attractive . . . I enjoy her company so much that I even blew off a couple of workouts last week. That won't be happening too often, I have a marathon to train for. Beside that life is good and pretty much unchanged. I have begun to do more strenght training and have been relagated to treadmill running indoors by the winter ... I cannot run outside when it gets too cold ... I am not where I wanted to be distance wise so I need to crack the whip.

Isn't it Ironic ...

I received an email today ... about why men die first. It was a joke about how we just cant win. No matter what we do when it comes to women .... I mention it because I got an email-forward from an acquaintance last week. You know the kind ... it says I'm thinking of you but you don't actually mean enough to take a moment & send you a real message.

I replied to her email stating that I miss connecting with her for coffee - something that used to happen every other week just as a matter of coincidence. Her reply was "you have my numbers" . . . & she is right, I have her number & I have dialed it. She also has mine & she has never dialed it without me specifically asking her to get back to me. Does that mean I should try HARDER to show that I might be interested in pursuing any kind of a relationship? If someone does not phone you is it not a subtle way of saying "you really do not matter much in my world". This one is just one more example of me chasing after relationships that are unavailable ... & I don't believe that I want to go there today. So there; I have said it I am sick & tired of women who tell me all the things they claim to want & proceed to act out in the exact opposite fashion. GET BENT!