so that is what it feels like to get hit by a truck ...

I've been sick! And part of me wants to believe that I am being punished for blowing off my home-group to watch people celebrate Octoberfest @ the Mess. But I don't think that my HP is vindictive like that. It is more likely that I associated, in close quarters, with a group of people that I do not normally associate with & it is that time of the year. Since Monday I've been in bed - and not in the fun way.

Today, feeling better means that I don't want to die today. It got to the point where it hurt to sleep & I couldn't stay awake either. What a treat that was ... but as rough as I feel today, it is better than yesterday.

On the bright side, I have consumed almost zero calories this week. but I've also blown off 3 runs and told my workout partner that tonight is out of the question too. I'm hoping to be strong enough to run 10 km this Sunday morning, so I need to start eating "the right stuff" tonight or tomorrow

and another case of not getting enough oxygen to the brain ... causing retardation

Mikki Zeeee or Miks S. Z. ex-CEO at Nortel has decided that he deserves more money for having guided the once-great Tech-giant into the crapper. But get this he has the audacity to demand severance & pension from a company that he rode into bankruptcy & where he walked away from his job when things got tough. Maybe Headeeeee Fry can share some of her glue and I'm sure I can find a couple of ex-nortel employees who'd be willing to buy him a plastic bag ...

hell maybe we could buy a body bag from that first-nation's group and he could get right into it.

Hed-EEEE fry may be retarded

The other day Head-y-EEE Fry (some liberal political windbag) suggested that because the new Canadian Olympic Gear logo was a letter C with a maple leaf in the center & the party logo of the current governing Conservative party was a stylized letter C with a maple leaf in the middle .... (wait for it ...) ... This proves that the Conservative government had interfered with the selection process that decided on the winning design.

Her statement was one of the STUPIDEST things I have ever heard. Does that mean that during the 12 preceding years of Liberal government any time the logo had any red in it or a white maple leaf that the Liberals had manipulate the selection? Or is this a case of her being a moron?

We have taken to giving out education credentials to people who have not earned the degrees here in Canada ... (no student should receive a failing grade ... NO Matter What ...) Is there some reason to suspect that Heady Fry's credentials may be "honourary". When I was a kid the "special" children were called retards ... Is it possible that Ms Fry is one of the people who had to ride the short bus? Or maybe she has just been surrounded by the Stink of the B.S. up on parliament hill so long that she is suffering from oxygen deprivation ....

The Wheel Has Turned ...

So the seasons have changed again ... and if you sleep naked anywhere near where I live you've noticed it, but you may want to just take my word for it. I am winding down my running season & have decided to fore-go the Fall Colours half marathon this year. [not-to-self: I should really get my drivers license so I don't have to rely on other people to go places that are not serviced by transit] I will run the Cookie Run again and I've signed up for the Resolution Run on New Year's eve ... and going forward there is a little matter of a certain May marathon I have a score to settle with.

Life is good for the most part. Being part of a couple is different; I'm not used to having the same lady in my life for more than a year. It is just one more thing that I struggle with when it comes to finding balance though. That continues to be a challenge in my world. I have almost no skills when it comes to juggling life, the universe & everything ... It is truly a good thing that I am not God, because I am great at handling one or two things at a time, but when it comes to harmony & balance I need improvement. But it is okay, because my HP offers me all kinds of opportunities to practice.

If you are reading this, know that you are loved & that I probably miss your company more than I ever let on. Be good to yourself and don't forget to tell someone how important they are in your world today.

20 years .... where'd they go ....

20 years ... Having just passed the summer solstice, I have now accumulated 20 years of clean time. I'm not certain how I feel about that. It is a success in one right and another unfinished business item on my to-do list if you look at it from a different angle.

Recovery only ends when you hit the grave; and recovery and clean-time are not synonymous either. I spent a few years clean before I started to think that I needed to change more than just the "drinking/using" part of my life. But Recovery is not counted in days, weeks, months, years either ... It is hard to measure and yet it is completely obvious to the outside observer ... if that observer has been there witnessing from before the start. Because before June 1989 I was a very different person ... however many of my associates TODAY have never met that man. And some of them wonder if he ever existed ... not me I knew him intimately and have no doubt that he is merely hiding in the shadows of my soul waiting for an opportunity to take control again.

SO it may have been 20 years (which is : 7303 days, or 175, 242 hours, or 10 516 320 minutes, or 630 979 200 seconds) but it is all about TODAY. Just For Today ... I think I will strive to be a better man, and live with honesty, integrity, open-mindedness, willingness, self-awareness, love and acceptance. And if I can do just that ... and trust the guidance of a power greater than myself, it may just be enough.

If you are reading this, try to be good to yourself ... and remember that you are loved.

What was 2008 to you?

I will not forget it for various reasons. It was the year that I hooked up with a woman from high school who dumped me by changing her Facebook status & leaving me hanging for 2 days. It was the year that all of the unrealistic corporate profits finally caused the tenuous economic house of cards to come crashing back to earth - as stock markets gave back 2 years of growth & the pirates who orchestrated the fiasco sailed off into the sunset with their pockets full of cash. It was a year that saw me complete my very first marathon 5hours 32 minutes 55.2 seconds (gun-time), after almost giving up on myself at kilometer 28. I should probably tell that little red-haired girl how much she had to do with me crossing the finish line some day.

2008 was a year full of blessings in my life. I am glad I survived long enough to experience it. I am growing up in many ways now; some are more enjoyable than others. It was a year filled with all the joy, pain, fun, chaos & life I could pack into it while still staying safely in my comfort zone.

It was a year filled with procrastination ... especially where being a "friend of Jimmy K" was concerned. But I survived it and am now approaching the 20 year mark. I think I might consider working the steps in the near future. But in all seriousness, I am truly grateful to be alive ... because not all of my friends survived 2008.