Today is the first day in a very long time that I wish I could "numb-out" [ I remember when you were down & you needed a helping hand ...] and forget all of my problems. I am a long time member of a 12-step fellowship and have considerable clean time, [I came to feed you but now that I need you you won't give me a second glance ....] but today I long for the simplicity of the quick fix.
This too shall pass and [now I'm calling all citizens from all over the world ... --- ... This is Captain America calling ... ] I will greet tomorrow as I greeted today. I will have one more day of clean-time under my belt and a clean slate, but for a moment [I bailed you out when you were down on your knees so won't you catch me now, I'm Falling ...] I actually did feel like escaping.
My heart is physically tired. My teeth hurt - even the ones that have long since been extracted seem to ache. I'm sad & I feel a great deal of hopelessness. [Help Me Now I'm Calling You !!! Catch me now I'm Falling!!!] I wonder and worry about tomorrow knowing that I can barely keep a handle on today. As a youth I never expected to be worried about having enough when I got "here". Now that I am "here" [ ... its in your hands its up to you ... catch me now I'm fallin' ...] I wonder if I will be able to live honourably long enough to die that way.
Deep inside me is a man who believes in all that is "Good & Right" ... Long Live The Once & Future King! ... I am pretty certain he is almost mad, but I admire & respect him for his courage and his convictions. Oh Wait, he is ME! I respect me for my courage, convictions & tenacity. I believe that my HP does not offer me challenges that I am not equipped for & capable of dealing with. So I guess I will just buck up and do the next right thing ... after all that is what I do
Whatever It Takes.
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You're a good man. Nothing lasts forever, you'll push through and come out stronger on the other side. I have faith in you.
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